Mission Earth is a series of ten massive tomes written by L. Ron Hubbard, founder of the Church of Scientology (keep that in mind when you read these, it makes things so much funnier). Mission Earth is the story of a goon working for the alien CIA that wants to sabotage the alien Navy’s plans to take over the Earth. Sulton Gris, the lovably despicable goon, is pitted against the picture-perfect superman Jettero Heller; Gris’ plans to undermine Heller backfire every bit as spectacularly as any Wile E. Coyote scheme. Thrown into this cauldron are Hubbard’s Scientology beliefs that, among other things, rock and roll is brainwashing the world, and that electro shock therapy works to cure anything (he takes that one to horrific extremes by volume 5).

These books are huge, and I won’t pretend to have read every page of them. I stopped by volume 6, and before that I did a good bit of skimming. Take it from me, and stop after volume 3. But give Mission Earth a chance. You’ll be glad you did.